This is an A and B conversation so get the F away from me

I have never claimed to be a great parent. However, I had my kids relatively young and figured when I was pregnant that I had all the answers and if I didn’t there was never anything that I couldn’t Google or a call to my mom to get the answer.  Anything short of that I didn’t want to hear it. Not from the lady next door, or the mom at the park, and certainly not the elderly man at the grocery store.

So on my way home from a play date I realized that I needed a few things for dinner that night or my children would be eating cup o noodles and popcorn (not that this hasn’t happened before). The problem started with the fact that it was 11:30 when there nap time is usually at 12:00 mixed with the fact that they had not yet eaten lunch. After spending the morning playing both my “angels” were both cranky and hungry, But I’m super mom so I could handle it and I really didn’t want to eat popcorn for dinner.

I had two melt downs before we got into the store about were each child wanted to sit so with a quick stop at the cookie isle I had them settle down with an open box of animal crackers. Now I can do my shopping in peace, right? NO!  Mr. Elderly man walked up to me and started lecturing me on how to take care of my kids in the store. Now I’m not the one to usually say anything rude in any circumstance but it had already been a long day and I just wanted to get home to put my kids to sleep. The next thing I know these words just slipped out of my mouth.

“I’m sorry I lost the instruction book on how to raise children the day after I got it. Does it have a chapter on how to reset children when they launch into a tantrum? Where can I get a replacement copy?”With a quick “go fuck yourself”. I wanted to take back that last part the second I said it.

I was seething and could tell that he wasn’t very happy about my attitude. As I was walking away someone taped me on my shoulder when I turned around it was an elderly woman. I was already worked up so I huffed and went to open my mouth to apologize for my outburst when she stated very loudly that “My husband is an ASS HOLE and he wouldn’t know the first thing about raising children as he didn’t so much as change one diaper of our four children nor did he ever go shopping with them”.  This made my day.

In The Beginning

I have 2 kids. One boy and one girl, I like to call them my matching set. My husband works his butt of so I can stay home with the children and we live the “American Dream”. Sounds like a normal life, Yes? No my life is and isn’t normal all at the same time. You see my husband is in the military which makes little things taking a vacation, finding someone you trust to babysit your children, and finding friends so much harder. But I can’t complain because I knew exactly what I was getting into when I married him because I had been in the military too.

But lets me back up to the beginning

I met my Husband when I arrived at my first duty station after joining the military he was hansom but the biggest jerk I had ever met (which is saying a lot). After getting to know him I still hated him with his sarcastic remarks and jabs about how I spent my free time but he began to grow on me (he was hansom after all). We started dating and about a year later I popped out my child, Surprise It’s a boy. After my son was born I made the hard decision of leaving the military. I couldn’t stand the idea of my son becoming attached to someone that wasn’t me while I spent 14 plus hour days at work and his father sometimes more. So I left eventually married my son’s father and we lived happily ever after.

If it were only that easy

After I separated the military and married my husband we were ready for a change of scenery so he switched jobs and we made the move to Las Vegas (made that seem a lot easier than it really was).  I wanted another child so I soon popped out my daughter and we’ve been pretty much just living life.

Except for all the crazy crap that happened in between but I’ll get into that another day.